Random Thoughts of The Day


1. I just made someone feel better today without even knowing it. Wow! Chin up, my friend!


2. Violence in relationships seemed like a faraway concept until I found out today that one of my friends had an abusive boyfriend. I don't think any girl deserves to be hit no matter how grave the crime.


3. Friday nights spent watching TV at home are boring shit.


4. Song titles on iTunes shuffle give pathetic answers to your burning questions.


5. I think I really am a baby.


6. I don't need a gf. I need a companion.


7. Why does your smile have to be so sweet? Gosh..........

cute baby.

yarzman tagged me. But it's not as if people who know me wouldn't know all these already.



20 random facts about Cheak Hong Ian.


1. "Cheak" is his surname.

2. It's pronounced as "Chay-k", not "cheeek", nor "chiak", nor "chick"

3. He hates it when people call him "Ian". He hates that name for reasons he himself isn't too sure of.

4. He is finding that speaking of himself in the 3rd person is pretty damn amusing and shall continue to do so.

5. He knows he is fat and doesn't need reminders.

6. He knows he has yet to enlist and doesn't need anyone asking about it.

7. His belly hair is his pride and joy.

8. He once set fire to his pride and joy in a fit of boredom. It spread like a forest fire in Indonesia. But he stamped it out
before it spread to his family jewels.

9. He wishes he had the time to go train his snooker skills with his beloved cue which is going rather mouldy.

10. His 2nd toe is as bloody long and the same length as his pinky. This increases his shoe size by 1.

11. He is often too damn lazy to brush his teeth before bed.

12. He can stuff his fist into his mouth.

13. He likes long bus rides which give him time to think.

14. He is really introverted. Social interaction with fellow human beings saps his energy quickly.

15. His buck teeth are the consequences of his childhood fetish for biting on waterbottle straps and pulling on them just to get a high.

16. His pimples are clearing up. But once someone mentions that they are, they come back with a vengance the next day.

17. He hates it when people offer him skincare advice. It's not as if he hasn't tried everything there is to try already.

18. He can't stand people who don't give way to others getting down from the train and try and squeeze in to get a seat. He
walks to the train door, squares his shoulders, stands up straight and stares down at the kiasu commuters outside. If they don't give way, he shoulders everyone in his way when the train doors open. Really hard.

19. He enjoys being a rugby poseur simply because he can carry it off due to his erm.....large build.

20. He wants to become a goatherd in the Swiss Alps and play a saxophone all day.



He tags: no one.


The hassle stops here. I think I'm a hero.

I should never have gotten attached in the 1st place.

I now find myself needing someone to be there to balance me off, to keep me sane, to just be with me.

Someone to make life worth living.




I don't know if you're avoiding me or if you just don't seem to have time for me. Or maybe you already have someone else in mind. And that's perfectly fair and understandable.

Although I do long to get to know you more, spend time with you, or just listen to you chatter on about a myriad of things which just seem to make me smile and get that warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest.

I wouldn't blame you if you're afraid of me, after all, you've seen my claws and you've seen others being clawed mercilessly.

but I think I really have changed. Maybe for the better.





I had found someone who led the lifestyle I used to yearn to live almost a year back. But that same careless lifestyle has slapped me back in the face. I'm not all out for it anymore. What I've been doing to others, thinking that I was simply 'passing on' what was dealt to me, has come back full circle.

So I'm sick of playing around. I'm not looking for shallow happiness and satisfaction of desires anymore.

I can safely say that I've seen most of what there is to see, and I've done most of what there is to be done. After so much of seeing the world and experiencing what the world has to offer, everything seems to have lost it's appeal. Too much 'fun' can make you weary.

And I've started searching for a bit more meaning in life. Priorities change, what I'm looking for has changed.




This time round, I seek joy. Something which I see only you giving me at the moment.

It may not show, but it's true. And if I'm given the chance, it'll show loud and clear.

It's pretty selfish, but I need you to turn myself back around and to lead me back to that joy I've been missing out on all these years.

Your smile chases away all my demons.






I know u are laughing ur ass off at this post and my apparent lack of balls, before heading out for another round of debauchery. I feel sorry for you. I really do.

Just so you know, I used to cringe inwardly at many things you did and said. I was the boyfriend of an airheaded, brash, judgemental, arrogant, self-obsessed, dishonest girl who was full of pretence.

But I swallowed it, thinking that love would overcome all. I guess not that kind of love+lust. And I have learnt to seperate love from lust. I wouldn't lust after the one I really love.

The truth will be out soon, as it eventually will be. I promise.

people fret when they come to a fork in the road of their lives.


"Which path is the right one? The left or the right? Should I turn back?"



well, I find myself in a vast open plain with no end in sight. Endless possibilities, endless impossibilities. And every step I might take wouldn't make much of a difference to my position anyway.




So where to from here?



Fashionably late, but always worth the wait. Cheer on.

he was my seating partner in Primary 6.


One of my good friends. We ate together, we played basketball together, we got into fights together with the EM3 Ah Bengs in school. We even failed our NAPFA together because he had asthma and I was fat.



But we lost contact after PSLE, but I used to see him around the neighbourhood, but didn't go up to him to say hi, for fear that he wouldn't recognise me. People change.



Well, people also leave. Today, I flipped to page 4 of the newspaper and there he was, staring straight back at me.



He is gone. Died just 5 days into his 2 'glorious' years of serving the nation.



He was only 20.






I guess I can't go up to you and say "Hi" anymore. No more cracking of jokes with you, no more chances to play basketball with you ever again.

Rest in peace, Andrew.

opened this window having plenty to say.


but since no one would understand anyway, I guess I'll spend my time on other stuff, like editing stories.


blah. It's not fair. It's just not.






I refuse to judge people based on their past, but it bites me back in the face.

who do I think I am to try and attempt the impossible? God?

guess I'll need time to sort myself out. I know I really should be looking to Him for help, but after you don't talk to someone for a long time, it just feels awkward trying to strike up a conversation again.



God, please hold my hand and help me do what you want me to do.

If I don't respond, drag me along if you have to, so that I'll see that it's you on the other end.

Sometimes you can't help but wonder if she knows.


And what her reaction will be/was when she first finds/found out.



Don't you just hate me now?
It's only gonna get worse.
Enjoy the wait.

I'll make sure you'll cut off those locks.



I'm sure you'll enjoy what's coming.

sometimes people just seem to enjoy playing those little games and complicating their lives.

well, it's always fun when it happens to other people.

But when it happens to you,

You can't help but wonder why people like to make things so complicated.




Well, if we were all content with living peaceful, self-sustaining lives, there would be no war, no quarrels, no strife.

But then again, there wouldn't be technology, and we'd all still be running around naked in Eden, living off the land.



The world just isn't simple anymore, especially in the industry we're in.

Take heart, my friend.





We're doing it to pay the mortgage.