she keeps me sane when shit happens,



yet she drives me crazy with her love.






this time, its all good. =)

Ms. Chang Qiaolin,


If you are reading this, you should know that your boyfriend is feeling lonely now. The juicy crabs here in Muar do not taste as good as the ones you feed me.

And it sucks to be stuck with a loveydovey, engaged couple when i spend most of my time alone in the backseat.



I miss you quite terribly and cant wait to get back to sg, projects or not.






Your very lonely bf up north

frankly, im pretty damn disappointed in you.


true, you want to work with people you are familiar with.


You want to be 'neutral'.


You want to be kind-hearted.






So, as a result, you let people step all over you.


You give in to blackmail.


To make 2 people happy, you disappoint 4 people.


To be answerable to one person, you go back on your word to me.



Ionno but as far as im concerned, a man should keep his word.



I have no idea how someone who doesnt keep his word can try and prove himself to his gf's parents.


You agreed that you would stand by me when i told you my proposal.


Then you just went back on it.


I made an extra effort to keep you in the team by coming earlier to school to explain the situation to you.

Looks like i sacrificed sleep for nothing.


Im not guilty of going back on my word.


I didnt kick anyone out. I simply formed a new team of my own.


I have done my research, i have gathered the resources, i have gotten the ideas.






All i wanted to do was to choose whom to share the potential success with.

So i picked you and her to be with us.

You may not be the best at what we need to do, but at least you try.




I didnt wanna let our hard work get ridden on by free-loaders who leapfrog off our efforts and get better grades.

I didnt want you to work with people who have already complained about her dozens of times and heaped accusations against the both of you.




But what do you do?


You make a pussy decision, and let circumstances rule your judgement.




It didnt have to be like this, you didnt have to work with hypocrites and freeloaders.




BUT i guess its too late.




So as King Leonidas said to Ephialtes after his betrayal,



"May you live forever. "

look what turned up in the mail.

its bitchy so its in black again.



Dear Cheak.
 
I have nothing to say but to acknowledge all the accusations that
you've thrown at me in your blog. I am an incorrigible and
irresponsible scumbag. People like me shouldn't even exist in this
world at all.
 
I apologise for all the trauma I caused you during this few weeks. I
am hard to manage and tactless and irresponsible and totally
worthless.
 
I pray for your sake that you do not work with me and scumbags like me again.
 
Good luck for next semester.
 
Yours Truly
**** ****



Wow, not bad. I think i would have done the same with exactly
that amount of sarcasm.

But what is disturbing is that i can hear my mother saying
those words.

It sounds like something she would have said in one of those
fights with me.

And i would have said the same in any similiar situation.









this is bad. I really am becoming my mother.

Dear World,


Just when I was beginning to enjoy being a swinging single, something happened.

As of today, 21 October 2007, I am now attached.

Not Yours,

Cheak

estella makes the most entertaining msn convos:


01:22:27 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
are you drunk?

01:22:48 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
oh so thats the shooting star they were talking about!

01:23:02 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
?

01:23:06 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
shooting star?

01:23:24 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
hmm maybe the lesson learnt was more than that yah?

01:23:26 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i think so too.

01:23:37 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
hahah. so there wasnt cookies today?

01:24:46 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
youmin

01:24:50 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
this is Cheak

01:25:12 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
so why are you talking about shooting stars, cookies and all?

01:25:22 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
HAHAHAHAH YES THAT WAS FUNNY

01:25:26 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i watched it too



at this point, i was fully convinced that it was some msn error that made me kinda eavesdrop on her convo with one of her crazy girlfriends or something. so i decided to play along and act like i was part of the convo.


01:25:34 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
u like the girl or the guy more?

01:25:48 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
girl

01:26:05 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
Seriously the fans are screaming too loudly.

01:26:15 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
YAH YAH YAH thats what i meant!!!!

01:26:18 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
hahah

01:26:45 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
omg im so showing this to you tml

01:27:00 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
you are nothing.

01:27:05 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
nothing is impossible

01:27:10 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
U ARE IMPOSSIBLE

01:28:08 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
hmmmm. thanks for the drink.

01:28:20 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i prefer it warm though.

01:28:49 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
okaaaaay

01:29:01 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
i'll warm it up for you the next time

01:29:08 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
tmr?

01:29:15 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
ya

01:29:24 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
it's not falling down right

01:29:27 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
no

01:29:28 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
maybe it is

01:29:32 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
oh dear

01:29:38 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
its pretty awkward

01:29:43 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
can it walk

01:29:46 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
no

01:29:50 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
it prefers to roll

01:30:05 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
it is so smelly now u have to clean it up

01:30:17 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
ya

01:30:32 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
so when you singingg?

01:30:36 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
the competitio

01:30:41 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
tmr?

01:30:43 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
oh good

01:30:47 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i'll be there to support u

01:30:49 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
:)

01:31:15 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
yes im gonna be singing

01:31:21 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
RC karaoke night

01:31:30 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
thats rad

01:32:07 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
indeed

01:32:25 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
its so rad-ish

01:32:30 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
silly little soap. its running away from u!

01:32:35 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
that it makes me hungry

01:32:35 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
HAHA NO NO U HAVE TO CATCH IT

01:32:37 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
come on

01:32:42 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
caught it


and then it just ended.


01:32:56 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
hahaha okay i'll stop the nonsense

01:33:13 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
hokay

01:33:17 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
ESTELLA

01:33:20 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
yup

01:33:27 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
what are you talking about?!

01:33:32 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
AHAH

01:33:33 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i dont know

01:33:43 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
anyway my batt is left with 1%

01:33:48 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
i realised that was pretty fun. just pretending u said things u didnt

01:33:55 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
OMG

01:34:01 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME MSN ERROR

01:34:08 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
OHAHAHAHAH

01:34:11 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
omg im so cool

01:34:16 alletse@gmail.com [estella. ? but i won't ask you to stay; i'd rather walk away if your heart's not in it., Online]
in a weird sense

01:34:18 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
that i was like listening to your convo with someone else or something

01:34:33 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
this is SOOOOOO going on my blog

01:34:35 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
ahhahahaha

01:34:43 knight_in_rusty_armour700@hotmail.com [aaand its back to school., Online, popping pimples]
you rock, estella




more serious bullshit coming your way soon. watchout for it.

cheak, its over, so don't harp on it.


well if you are a peace-loving carebear, dont read on.



i can't help it. this spoilt my whole fucking evening.

you don't fucking tell me what i should have done.

I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE.

but it didnt help that NO ONE gives a bloody fuck about what the fuck i type in my emails.
NO FUCKING ONE.

they dont read my emails, and then claim that i never said it in the first place and have the fucking cheek to fucking get angry when i fucking tell them that it was in the fucking emails.

when i fucking tell you to prepare a slide BEFORE the meeting, you do not start sourcing for info DURING THE FUCKING MEETING.

and you dont FUCKING LEAVE without finishing everything.

and even if you dont fucking do anything, at least FUCKING COME so that the others wont fucking whine about everyone not fucking being there so they cant do fucking this and fucking that.

i KNOW FUCKING WELL WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE. in fact, i wanted to combine the presentation ONE MEETING EARLIER, but NOOOOOOOO. people dont read my emails and only clarify with me what they are supposed to do NEARING THE FUCKING END OF THE FUCKING MEETING.

dont fucking tell me how to manage the whole team when you cant even manage your fucking section. its fucking obvious that you keep pushing work away from yourself and fucking blaming everyone else and not fucking taking responsibility.

and how do you fucking remedy that? you make it seem like im incompetent in getting things together by messing them up, then act the hero and put everything back together again. (i was in fact delayed by fuckers like you who only know how to fucking surf blogs and poke their noses into the affairs of others instead of fucking doing what the fucking ought to do)

im sorry i had class. im sorry that i was chose to leave rudely in the middle of a fucking presentation. im sorry that you are so fucking selfish. im sorry that you wanted to HAVE A FUCKING HOLIDAY instead of getting some work done. im sorry that i came to school during my holidays even before anyone heard any news about the development of the Nias trip. im sorry that i could not get to work much to support myself cos i had to fucking come to school. im fucking sorry that i am forced to exert an authoritative tone (which you fucking say is condescending) when you fucking treat me like im not there when i give instructions. im fucking sorry that i cant stand selfish fucktards like you.

im sorry i was responsible. im sorry i get pissed when people dont fucking listen. im sorry that i spend nights typing emails that get ignored anyway.

so maybe we could turn back time and let you try and get this whole fucking project off the ground on your own. and maybe i could take over your position and treat you the fucking way you treated me. MAYBE THEN YOU'LL FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

fuck you, imma hit back where it fucking hurts.

hello, its 16 more hours to the Nias presentation and everything is still damn messy.


God help all of us.







even my dear beloved granny is kinda worried.






























i love her.

my leather one-stars are falling apart.



im devastated.

Ohkay.


a photo update from before nias to after nias.



in ummmm...reverse chronological order cos im too lazy to rearrange photos. heh.






the one on the left is Ivan. ooohh......but wait! the other one isn't es*****!

HMMMM.











Now THIS is a very thirsty esTELLA.


ahhahaha.











and a very busy liowch.












meet meowmeow, one of my only real friends in Nias.


i wonder if John has executed his evil plan to cook my friend.









the sun was merciless, as you can tell.















this is why some of the houses dont hold up very well in Indonesia.


THEY ARE HELD TOGETHER WITH SEMEN.




Next up, a series of sunrise photos i am pretty damn proud of.


Taken with a camera phone, mind you.


















Who knows what i could do with a DSLR?

hahahaha.







































the girls were closing their eyes and competing with each other.

the one who could pick out her own underwear (out of a basin of all their underwear) by touch would win.









and Mr. Teo Hong Jun so graciously volunteered to 'judge' it. hahahah.

















Mr. He Ruiming: Another one of my friends in Nias. :)


okay that was gay.











the chinaman roommate














At Teluk Dalam.















Our very own 'batman'.


THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.








Before Nias, there was NEWSWRITING.






That's my sub-ed being swung around by the HRM.

















And this is what CSL does instead of writing her S.H.E. story.


















and to end us off, we have a very emo chinaman.

if i didnt hate the song, this clip would be sheer beauty personified.

just now, when i took the train home, i noticed that this really familiar-looking woman boarding the jurong-bound red line too. (forgot if she boarded at the same station as me or further down at Woodlands)


she looked like she was in her twenties, cutesy and a lil chubby.


so she sat in the same carriage as me all the way to Jurong, i kept glancing at her, trying to figure out where i had seen her.


i got off the train and made a beeline for the 334 queue.


A couple of minutes later, she joined the queue too.



and when i got up to get off the bus, so did she.



i took the sheltered walkway and she took the sidewalk from the bus stop.


but we both ended up at my lift lobby.


HMMMM.



got into the same lift, she pressed the button for my floor. (at this point, i farted cos i ate quite a lot of durian)


the fart was quite embarrassing so i walked straight out of the lift, hoping that she would turn right instead of following me left.



i didnt look back, but her footsteps did not fade off in the opposite direction.



DAMN WHO IS THIS?



i walked to the end of the corridor and went up the flight of steps to my door, hoping that she'd take the downflight by some chance.



She came right up with me.



so i turned and smiled down at her coming up the stairs,



and she stopped halfway, looked up and said, "erm hi. I'm your new neighbour, Joan."








perfect way to meet a new neighbour eh?

farting in the lift and all....



gawdddddd

people have been complaining about my langauge.







and you know what?













i dont give a fuck.




"FUCK FUCKITTY FUCK FUCK FUCK." (Cartman, 1999)




this post was inspired by caleb's
8 June 07 entry.

i dont usually set aside a post to reply tags (cos im not that popular), but 2 weeks worth of tags is quite a lot.


so here goes:



ira: hahaha, cirie scared me a lil, i was afraid to go into the room luh!

Lav: hmmm, my faith has been betrayed a lil too often.

la: hokay exsubed, if you say so. haha.

Ren: DA JIE DA! omg its been so long! our parangs are rusting in the hideout!

Lav: ahem. big pussy, its big enough for any orifice, but its not going any where near yours.

Kristie: You dont have to understand them, they are too profound for your bimbotic mind.hahahah.

la: YES IM BACK and i hope you grew taller

ling*:mmhmmm. i want stingray and kangkong hooo!

la: a sausage you say? hmmmmm.

jx: omg i almost reached over for a hug before i realised that your mom was there! miss hanging out with yall!

eleanor: thanks. you must be the tour guide, i would like to see that sculpture that pukes permanantly.

hainan: yup i went for some community service and journalism trip. i thought i told you about it? HAINAN! WE HAVE CHICKEN RICE TO MAKE!

q: hey there. who might you be?

Ivan: i hope its clear that you have work to do, mr video team leader cum webmaster.

just a few months back, i would have detested someone like myself.



but things are different now.






forbidden fruit only tastes sweeter somehow.