it just hit me:

SCHOOL IS RE-OPENING IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH


but then again, my friends in SP have started getting their money's worth in education three weeks before i start school again.


oh wells, cant be helped


*shrugs*



had a lil backache after work on sunday so didnt go to work monday. daymn i gotta get back to work on thursday. nothing but fucking chinese weddings.

all the horny couples been holding onto their reproductive juices for the past two months during the hungry ghosts festival and cant wait to get married even on weekdays! daymn. my back is aching from all the portioning of food


42 weddings in a single month. W.H.A.T.T.H.E.F.U.C.K.


this sucks. for once i actually wanna git back to school.



tailor shops are quite these few days. many potential customers, despite saving on food and fags, have spent all their allowance voting for hady. not much business in tapering levis now sia?


tsk im making more and more random football bets. stabs at easy money.


and that ends yet another random post from the king of cock.









'king of cock'? now where did i get that from?

singapore voted. hady won. i got one word for everyone.


KELONG!


the first thing he should do as a singapore idol, is learn to sing in key.


but then again, it doesnt matter much, does it?


from tonight's show, we can tell that theres a big enough market of tone-deaf singaporeans to keep his record sales going at a comfortable rate.


comfortable enough for him to hire a gigolo every night so he can find somewhere to stick his off-key, constipated dick into.


ewwwwww..my fellow singaporeans, you never fail to disgust me.

ok just got dragged out by THE EX to eat prata at midnight.


tsk


zheng zhiyuan is annoying. somebody just got attached yesterday. and tickled on the lap. bwahaha.


neways good to see you mel. it sucks when the tables are turned and you start calling me fat.

but it doesnt matter.



YOU STILL OWE ME EIGHTEEN BUCKS AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT.





other than you returning the money to me, of course.

snooker and pool with pokpok and zd on wednesday.

bowling with fred, roy, xiaobai yesterday.

pool with fred and suki sushi with roy and fred today.

tml is a surprise.

felt so dumb today. wanted to bet on chelsea winning fulham 3-0. was in a rush so shaded carelessly. only after i bought that i looked at the ticket.

odds: 150:1

omg

winnings: $750


ERM..a lil too good to be true

i looked up.


shit


your pick: fulham 3 chelsea 0


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


but if i win...........


haha dream on.

FULHAM BETTER WIN!

been slogging my ass off for the IMF. glad its finally over. what was supposed to be a busy week is now full of cancelled working slots. hohoho..time to slack again. timetable out. all looks good! just hope i dont see certain people next sem. i might not be able to restrain myself.


prawning with the S75 gang yesterday. snooker today. slacking tml till someone asks me out.


im afraid of the way i would act. whoever said that a man's greatest foe is himself got it damn right.


hope you catch the hints that i dropped. someone has to get hurt. and i dont want it to be you

so, my dear dear anonymous. the blog URL might have changed, but the rules are still the same:


on this blog, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO DISS OTHERS. if you want to diss me, do it on your own blog. or start a "we-hate-cheak.blogspot.com".

2ndly, whenever you tag, please have the guts to leave your name. only cowards diss anonymously.


thanks.


its 4am in the morning and i just came home from work. going to work again at 8am. im am so fricking gonna die. DIE!


argh.

this entry is dedicated by the whiny pussy to anonymous, who conviniently decided not to leave her name (oops did i just say 'HER'?)


if you read my old blog
together with this new one over here, you would find that every such rant is slightly more exposing, and also, provoked by a new change in the situation or by some event. sure, i admit, i am whiny. 2 years in a class with 27 girls and 9 guys (myself included) sure took its toll on me. but i digress


so my dear anonymous, it seems like im whining ever so often maybe, JUST MAYBE, because the progress is happening ever too quickly! lets start from where it all began (or rather, ENDED)




on my old blog:

Saturday, August 12 2006: the day she told me that it was impossible between us

Sunday, August 13, 2006: the day AFTER she told me that it was impossible between us

Monday, August 14, 2006: 2 days after she told me that it was impossible between us

Wednesday, August 16, 2006: im listening to music on itunes and happen to hit 'sorry seems to be the hardest word', lyrics make sense so i post it (note in this entry i mention that she PROMISED that I WOULDNT TURN OUT LIKE HER PREVIOUS GUY)

Saturday, August 19, 2006: seeing her at the bbq that i regret going for

Sunday, August 20, 2006: hearing another song on my itunes which she sung to me on the phone, posting its lyrics

Sunday, August 27, 2006: i see my former best friend at work. another bitch who betrayed me. so kinda linked both together

Tuesday, August 29, 2006: SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE LIKES ANOTHER GUY ALREADY! just 17 days after. (note: she MIGHT JUST have started liking him way before this day)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006: i see the parting present that i prepared for her and am damn disgusted with it

Thursday, August 31, 2006: 2 days after i cut off my connections to the outside world. posted after rejecting a good friend's call.

Saturday, September 02, 2006: insomnia, a very rare case of it

Sunday, September 03, 2006: hear this anastasia song on my itunes

Thursday, September 07, 2006: 2nd case of insomnia

Sunday, September 10, 2006: stumble across beautiful lyrics

Tuesday, September 12, 2006: hear this song by stacie orrico

Thursday, September 14, 2006: FIND OUT THAT SHE IS ATTACHED ALREADY!

Friday, September 15, 2006: her good friend msgs me on msn giving me a whole loada shit (anonymous should know this good friend VERY WELL)


so now that i have taken you through the events, maybe you can tell (if you are smart enough) that

she took less than 17 days to find new love after dumping me

and she took less than 16 days after that to get attached to him.

is it just me? or is that a little too fast?
so do i have reason to believe that something is pretty fishy around here?
so maybe now you see why the WHINY PUSSY whines so often.
its cos he is HIT so often.


so you tell me that he only came into the picture after i left the picture. that makes it even more unbelievable, doesn't it?

so do i not have reason to believe that that is another lie as well? just another lie in the heap that she told?

and if you can type an 86 word tag, my dear anonymous, that claims to have read my blog and cant find any 'real mutual agreement to go steady'.. then you have not read enough to comment.

the promises that i would not end up like the previous guy was agreement enough! she said i was different. if a girl says that to a guy when he is going after her, isnt that a mutual agreement? mymy, someone sure sucks at reasoning..tsktsk



and why do i feel like 'the world is out to get' me? well, i dont know

but maybe

just maybe

because my mother cheated me of my savings, after promising to safe-keep them.

after which she conviniently threw me out of the house, leaving me to fend for myself

and continued to pocket another amount of money that my aunt gave to her to credit to me.

and removed my transport funding.


so the supposedly closest member of the family betrayed my trust, while the rest of the family stood by and watched. wow, i don't deserve to believe that my family is out to get me, do i? damn im so ungrateful...


then my best friend, whom i have fallen out with several times, tells me that she doesnt 'need me as a friend' anymore (note the phrasing). why? all because i tried to get her head out of the clouds and back onto earth. well done. but NO! i should be slapped for thinking that even my 'friends' are out to get me as well.

on top of that, throw in being played around with a couple of times, being promised heaven and given hell. being stabbed in the back for random playful acts of violence. blahblah....


oh well, i guess i really don't have any reason to believe that the whole world is out to get me.

anonymous, you are so goddamn fucking RIGHT!

applause for the great anonymous contributor of wisdom, ladies and gentlemen.....



_|_ _|_

im not one to make rash comments.



all the both of you say is that its all just a big misunderstanding


well thanks alot that SURE AS HELL WORKS FOR ME!


i didnt reply you on msn because i didnt have anything to say to you


and its kind of weird that you are pissed at me for being disappointed in the three of you



maybe you should look at it from my perspective.





i see this girl in class

all i do for three months is look at her from far, thinking to myself

"hey, that girl looks sweet enough,

decent enough

HONEST enough"

i stumble on her friendster account

say hi online

start talking to her.

within a few days of getting to know her, she asks me out to take a stroll outside my previous school (which i missed alot)

gives me a soft toy which her sister gave to her when she was born

we stay quite close for a couple of months

she msgs me first when i come online

chatting online into the dead of the night

chatting on the phone

going out a few times.

i decide i want to be able to trust her

after being sold out by almost every female that i was supposed to trust

i ask her to promise me never to lie to me

she agrees

she seems serious about me.

we go to church together

she sneaks me into her house at night when her parents are overseas

shows me around her room

seemingly wanting to show me everything about her life

tells me secret stuff

potentially-embarassing stuff

gives me chocolate

hot chocolate

lollipops

it all seems too good to be true

im skeptical of my good fortune

so i ask her , whenever i do stuff, whether she feels uncomfortable

she insists she is fine

i can see her squirming

but i choose to believe that she isnt lying

after all,

she DID promise right?

she tells me about her previous near-relationships

she promises me that i wont turn out like them

so i build my whole life around that promise

then one fine day, on one of our dates, she doesnt look too good

i ask her if she wants to go home to rest

she insists she is fine

i ask her for the 2 kisses on the fingertip that she owes me

she refuses

so i mock-struggle with her

finally she gives me one

but after that she seems rather disconcerted

so i ask her again

"are you ok?"

she nods

so i take it at that

then after we go home

she tells me online

that its not possible between us

i ask her why?

she says she is probably still adverse to relationships

cant get used to it

i suspect something

i ask if theres someone else

she says "no"

a few days later we talk

she keeps asking me if im over her yet

i say "no"

cos obviously im not

she says something like "suppose one day i finally get over you, and get together with someone else. it wouldnt be good if you still havent gotten over me by then"

i suspect something

i ask her if theres someone else

again she says "no"

then a week or two later, she tells me that she likes someone else already.

naturally im pissed.

because she broke every single promise she made me

and what makes it worse, is that she tells almost everybody stuff

but she keeps it from me

so her friends around her know everything

yet they dont tell me

all they show me are nice, sweet smiles

invitations to go out together

heeheehaha

then 2 days ago

just a month after she told me that it was impossible between us

i find out shes attached

how does that reflect on me?

am i supposed to smile and wish them all the best and fade into the background?

but then again, you cant blame her or anyone right?

its a big misunderstanding right?

well this is what i fucking understand from it.

look at it from my point of view.

AND MAYBE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.

look at this picture




its jacq's blogskin (you can take a look by clicking on the link on the right)



notice something missing?







recently jacq succumbed to a vicious flesh-eating bacteria after her resistence went down due to stress from studies.


its known as lousyris photois effetus


it left her


WITHOUT A NOSE


her mouth almost fully eaten away




losing her jawline and left ear



really sad



so i searched up plastic surgery techniques on Google



and tried my hand at restoring her face to its former glory (not!)



this is what it looked like after the bandages were removed.



not too bad eh?

guess what? shes attached already. just a month after she told me that she was 'adverse to relationships' and that 'its not you'.


no prizes for guessing who is the fucking fool at the fucking end of the fucking day. thanks plenty bitch, sweet facades sure hide plenty of lies.


this is what comes of wanting too much to believe that it was for real. this is what comes of doubting my sixth sense.


and for you, you miserable prick, i have a feeling i know who you are and that you knew about us and you purposely stole her from under my nose for the kick of it. just wait till i wrench out your right pinky and stuff it up your miserable asshole


and you three as well. her friends. you knew me as well. you knew fucking goddamn well that there was someone behind her whom she was hiding from me. you knew the way i felt for her. you knew the way she DIDNT feel for me. and yet,

YET

you said nothing about it to me. NOTHING. you just watched me make a fool of myself. then acting all comforting and mediating when i found the truth. im disgusted with you too. i knew there was something wrong when you didnt poke fun at the both of us like others would have. because you knew. and you didnt tell me. were yall all in it together? do yall really hate me so bad that it gives you pleasure to see me be made a fool of? well thanks anyway. i really needed that. i have totally lost all respect for you. i thought you were nice people. bah humbug. *spits*


and all i wanted was someone i could trust. in the end all i got was a whole lot of people who sold me out.

you know sometimes when you're feeling weak

you have faith

then you pray

God

please give me something to hang on to

something to lean on

days pass

weeks

months

then in the horizon there appears this scene of a beautiful meadow

acrylic flowers blooming

lush, flat green grass

wooden clouds rolling

with this huge two-dimensional oak tree in the middle of the picture.

so you approach it

it just looks like a pretty plywood backdrop to you

but the more weak you are

the more you want to believe that this is ACTUALLY a lush meadow

so you begin by moving closer to the image

seems harmless enough

you touch it

feels harmless enough

you smell it

olfactory goes haywire

acrylic paint smells like fresh flowers

scent makes you woozy

you need a rest

you sit under the oak tree

you can hear the birds chirping away in your head

you think, "Hey, god sent this! cant be all that bad?"


"doesnt he know what's best for me?"

so you lean back against the oak tree

put more weight on it,

then


CRASH!!

the whole backdrop caves in

wood splinters

you fall backwards

jolted awake

you body impaled amongst the splinters

you scream

you try to pull yourself up

but the splinters are driven even deeper into your body

piercing your throat

you cant speak

piercing your lungs

you cant breathe

piercing your heart

you cant love


so as you lay gasping

dying

bleeding

hurting

helpless

you gaze at the heavens and say

"hell yeah"

"god sure knows whats best for me"

THANK YOU GOD!





in everything, give thanks

You’ve kept me hanging from a string
While you make me cry
I’ve tried to give you everything
But you just give me lies

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I’d be wishing that you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool
There’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it
What am I waiting for?
I’m still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you




what i need desperately now, is a hug

havent had one in ages



FUCK I SOUND LIKE A HIMBO! *slaps ownself*

welcome to the new blog! i have always wanted to replace my previous skin (which screwed up when the blardy designer removed an image) but was too goddamn lazy to.


but its done now. a blogskin that simply cant screw up because, there isnt any image in the skin itself! hoho. moved everything over here, even the tagboard.


new blog, new attitude, a new nonsensical blog url.


regina is in hospital for i-don't-know-what.


hmmmmm..

testing123