i know your morbid sense of curiosity will make you wanna click this

"The awkward-looking minah and her group are having consults with koh now."



ahhahahahaha.


Tell me why i love my girl?

i feel like stabbing myself through the heart now.


im such a letdown.


i thought i could be a man she would be proud of,


i guess i thought too highly of myself.

i need cigarettes to get through the crunch time
I really can't do it on my own.

im going to disappoint many other people.


I'll do my best to ensure that its only temprorary.

shatter my illusions and give me back my cynicism

i fell in love with the girl whom i thought could understand and accept me,
or at least, whom i thought wanted to understand and accept me.


you think im wrong,
well im beginning to think i AM wrong,
about all my beautiful illusions of us.




you wanted to crack this tough exterior.
you wanted to see what was beneath,
as like every other girl before you.

well, you've succeeded.
you didnt just crack it,
you smashed it.
are you jumping around in jubilation?


now all my insecurities are gushing out.
I need acceptance.
I feel misunderstood.
I need love.
I need a listening ear.
I need to feel like i matter,
cos i feel like i dont.
I need to say what i feel or it will just weigh on my chest and suffocate me.
I need to feel like im not alone in this world.
I JUST WANT TO BE TAKEN FOR WHO I AM.


you've broken the shell and released an emotional mess.
can you clean it up?



Well, you've found out who i really am.
Can you take it?






Is anyone even listening?

i knew i was a pain to get along with.



i knew no one could possibly get along so wel with a fucker like me.







i hate being shut out.


i fucking hate feeling like i dont matter.


you know why?




cos i shut out the people i have no regard for.


i shut out the people i abhor.


i shut out whatever they say.


because they dont matter.







and i dont care if OTHER people shut me out.


Because they are just the OTHER people.


but not when you do.






i just want to be heard out.


if im wrong, fine, TELL ME WHERE IM WRONG.


HIT BACK AT ME TENFOLD.


RELEASE A SHITLOAD ON ME.


CONVINCE ME THAT IM WRONG.


humiliate me if you must.


BUT CONVINCE ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY TRAP SHUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.





i need not have the final say,


but i need to have a say. a FULL say.







ignore me if you must



dont just fucking shut me off midway.






no one has managed to hurt me like you just did in a long time.


no one.




how the fuck you expect me to sleep like that?

hello world.


i really should be working on my FA2 now. but i've decided to type this nagging thought out.




"The good things in my life never accumulate; they are either misplaced, displace each other or replace better things." (Cheak, 2008)










but who am i to complain?

its 2008.


blah.