Monday, September 22, 2008

I've always been intrigued with the concept of having a 'soulmate'.


Plato had an interesting take on this concept.


In his philosophical dialogue 'Symposium', one of his characters, Aristophanes, raised the theory that humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a single head with two faces. The Greek god Zeus was afraid of their power and split each human in half, hence condemning them to spending the rest of their other half that would complete them.


In other words, according to Plato, somewhere out there, another human being has been created just for you. You were meant to spend the rest of your lives together and you'll never be complete without each other.


Do you subscribe to this theory?



I don't.




Not really.



Firstly, maybe we should consider the question, how do you know if the other person is your soulmate?



Do you know that if the both of you always have something to talk about?

I don't think so. Technically, soulmates should know each other so well that there are other means of communication (telepathy, reading body language etc) that sometimes, they don't need to say anything at all, just so the communication will be something only both of them share.

Something special.



Do you know that if the both of you are physically attracted to each other?

As much as Plato's mythical take seems to suggest that this might be a sure-fire test of soulmate-ness, I really don't think it might boil down to fitting the pieces of the puzzle.

What if someone you can really relate to is someone you haven't even seen before? A pen-pal? An online friend? How about if you can't see, or are physically numb? Does that mean you can never have a soulmate, simply because you aren't physically capable of feeling physical attraction?




Do you know that if the both of you end up getting married?

As much as the 'fate fanatics' (as I like to call those who accredit all happenings to fate) like to believe that finding your soulmate is all up to fate. So if someone never ends up in a civil domestic bond with you till death, it is impossible that person is your soulmate.

Well how about people who are kept apart by circumstances? Though they can relate to each other, complement each other and spend the rest of their lives longing to be with each other, they can never be together.

Are they not soulmates?



Or how about if one party doesn't feel the same way about the other?

Well, this will probably be the main point of debate. To establish someone else as your soulmate, does the other party have to be willing to be known as that? Does the other party have to relate to you as well as you relate to them?

Let me give you this example:

A guy and a girl meet in a bar. They strike up a conversation and find that they share similiar opinions on various topics. This puts them both in a good mood and before they know it, they're pissed drunk in a hotel room and......do some puzzle-fitting.

The morning after, they feel awkward and part ways, but keep in contact.

They then go on to date other people over the next 8 years but the girl, whether attached or single, always comes back to the guy whenever she's feeling down or needs help in making a important decision.

She views him as a soulmate; someone whose opinion she treasures, someone who can cheer her up just by saying hi, someone she can pour herself out to, someone she feels totally at home with, someone she doesn't have to put on fake fronts around. She tells him everything.

Everything, other than the fact that he is the most special human being on earth to her.

The guy, however, only sees her as a friend and obliges her every time. He doesn't know that he's the only person she confides in, the only person she feels happy with, the only person who can make her smile effortlessly, simply because he doesn't have any dealings with the other people in her life. He goes off, meets someone whom he falls in love with and gets married to her.

The girl is disappointed, but keeps dating, both men and women, eventually almost forgetting about him. But she soon finds herself going back to the guy everytime she's troubled.

She tries to wean herself off her dependence on him, throwing her all into everyone of her relationships. Eventually, she marries, but this quickly ends in divorce. She thought she could find another soulmate, and that maybe forcing a bond would bloom into something more beautiful for her. She's wrong.

Even after her divorce, she still finds her comfort in him, but at the same time, feels guilty that these dialogues might not be taken very well by his wife if they were found out.

The both of them grow old and die. He goes peacefully, surrounded by his wife, kids and grandkids. She dies cold and alone, clutching an old photo of him she took from his wallet that drunken night.





Was he her soulmate? She sure thought so. But she definitely wasn't his.

It's not as if she didn't give other people a chance. But it just didn't work out, somehow.

There are people who do live like this. I'm not gonna say if I'm one of them, but you can probably deduce.




So is there really just one soulmate for everyone of us? Are we meant to have another half? Are we meant FOR our other halves?

That's anybody's guess, I guess.

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